A Memorial Day tribute to honor Darla Welton's dad and remember his friends killed in action

Figure 1: Mom and dad at the airport as dad heads off to Vietnam.

**Originally written on Memorial Day 2010. Updated in 2012 and 2016.**

Several years ago I found a box of letters in my parents’ bedroom. I confess that curiosity got the best of me while searching for the sewing kit beneath their bed. I saw a box that I had not noticed before. It was dusty with no markings, but it gently whispered, “Open me.”

Would my parents have shared this box with me had I not found it on my own? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe they wanted to keep it between them, and I can understand that now, but what a treasure I found! I discovered over a year’s worth of correspondence between my mom and dad while he was serving our country in Vietnam. Nothing had opened my eyes and my heart about my parents as did this discovery. Fear and love were scribed on every page. I even read the letter that accompanied an engagement ring sent from Vietnam to Michigan. Yes, that’s right. An engagement ring!

Theirs is a love story for the ages. I wish that I could share all of the letters and allow you to read this beautiful love story, but I will respect those intimate words and keep them in my heart and in that box for now. Just trust me when I say that they are Kleenex-worthy. From dad’s descriptive letters of meals (mostly talking about Spam in a can), to the engagement, to stories of close calls, loss, and pains of war, my view of Bob and Linda Burl changed forever.

Figure 1 is a photo from 1970 of my dad and mom (then dad’s girlfriend) at the airport. He was heading to Vietnam. This is what he signed up to do. I simply cannot imagine what this moment must have felt like for them. Pride and fear must have rivaled one another in their hearts. Dad was sent to Vietnam along with other high school buddies. He would be one of the few to return.

Looking back on my childhood, I remember going to various Memorial Day and Fourth of July parades, knowing that my dad would jump in with a random group of Vietnam War veterans to finish the march. I remember listening to patriotic songs for hours with my dad, and I would try my best to learn them and sing them for him. I remember the flashbacks of war that he suffered when I was a small child. I remember visiting the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C., and standing next to my daddy who sobbed as he rubbed the charcoal over the names of his buddies who never returned to American soil. Even now a solemnness overcomes him when he hears a helicopter. His time at war changed him forever. In some way it has shaped part of who I am.

On Memorial 2008, dad, mom, Josh, and I visited Freedom Hill Park in Clinton Township, Mich., to see the mobile Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall. Dad had brought several photos, newspaper clippings, and obituaries of friends who died, and added them to a photo album kept by the Vietnam Veterans of America Chapter 154. I commissioned a brick in his name to be added to the monument honoring those from Macomb County who served, those who fought, and those who died in the Vietnam War.

On Veterans Day of the same year, dad received a very nice packet of cards and notes from a group of elementary school students. They were being taught the significance of our veterans and the need to recognize them. The students had learned that while the Vietnam War was unpopular, the courage and love of country displayed by the soldiers were unwavering. Dad was deeply touched by their words.

On May 24, 2009, dad sent me a personal note that included the words below:
“38 years ago today, 24 May 71, three of my friends I served with were shot down at Fire Base 5. Two were KIA (CTP Dewey and SP4 Lubbehusen). SP4 John Littleton was rescued, but was wounded. On the next day, 25 May 71, another ship flew in under heavy fire to medevac John. The rescue ship was shot down again as they were leaving. John and all aboard were KIA. They were listed as MIAs, but their remains were recovered 2 months later. The rescue pilots KIA received the CMA (Congressional Medal of Honor).

“I left Nam 16 June 71 and was home for good. My heart still hurts.”

Dad serving in Vietnam.

I sobbed for quite some time after reading this, and it still breaks my heart. My dad remembers it all. The names. The dates. The numbers. Every detail. This is why we must remember. We must honor our veterans for their willingness to forever change their lives and give their lives for our country. And we must honor the memory of those who gave the ultimate sacrifice. So today I honor my dad and remember his friends.

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." John 15:13

**Editorial notes and additions 5/28/12 and 5/30/16: Since initially writing this piece, I have learned more about my dad's service with the U.S. Army. I now know that he was first stationed in Germany during the Cold War near the Russian border. He submitted numerous requests to the Army to be transferred to Vietnam. He felt the situation was hopeless in Germany if the Russians were to break through the border. They had a more powerful army, and the greatest defense that the Americans had were a couple of nukes. It would not have ended well either way. The Army eventually granted his request, and he was sent to Vietnam.

We recently gathered with family to look at a memory book that my dad compiled with military papers, photos, dog tags, medals, badges, letters, newspaper clippings, and obituaries. The paperwork included some of dad's transfer requests. It was moving to see his signature below words that stated his agreement to enter into dangerous enemy territory with rough terrain. His signature appeared with confident ink strokes.

There is a photo of dad surrounded by a group of Vietnamese children, who the American soldiers were protecting from a mine field; he was handing out chewing gum.

There is an official letter informing him that a letter he wrote to a close friend, Earl Rider, was being returned to him because Earl had been killed in hostile action.

There are the rubber covers that he slid over his dog tags so they would keep silent in the jungle.

There are numerous papers of posted orders stating “Robert F. Burl is assigned to: assault helicopter.” There is also the very carefully preserved return ticket back to the United States.

I encourage you to sit down with a war veteran who is willing to share their experiences. Listen to his or her stories. Your mind will be enlightened and your heart will broaden and break. Honor the memory of their friends with them. It has been a treasure for me to hear my dad open up and share more regarding his time as a soldier.

A worthy cause to donate to on Memorial Day is the Vietnam Veterans of America. Josh and I frequently make donations of household items and clothing. It's easy to schedule a pick-up: www.scheduleapickup.com/

My dad, Robert F. Burl, as a young soldier.

I would also encourage you to engage in deeper study of our history to gain an understanding of the sacrifices that led to the freedoms that you enjoy today. Read about all of the wars our country has fought, search online archives, visit museums, and read a copy of the Declaration of Independence. If you have some TV time, I recommend: "World War 2 in HD" produced by the History Channel. What a moving and personal, yet gruesome and real account of the battles in the Pacific and in Europe, as well as what was happening on American soil. Feel blessed that so much of that war was fought off of our soil. Feel humbled by the losses and the sacrifice. Never stop learning and engaging your heart and mind with all that it costs to call ourselves FREE. Never forget.

May 2016 - A Congressional ceremony recognized dad for his service in the Vietnam War. along with more than 200 other men and women from Michigan. The ceremony marked the 50th anniversary of troops on the ground in Vietnam.

We heard from retired Col. Donald O’Dell, a war veteran who had spent 6 years as a POW in the Hanoi prison camp after his F-105 fighter jet was shot down over North Vietnam in 1967. His family grieved for him as he was initially considered KIA. He spoke of the brotherhood developed amongst prison mates and what got him through his time as a POW. He was repatriated in 1973.

Additionally, we witnessed a leader from the Vietnam Veterans Chapter 154 award a medal to current military officer, Lt. Col. Rolf Mammen, vice commander of the 127th Wing stationed at Selfridge Air National Guard Base.

The chapter leader recalled how many of the Vietnam soldiers, upon their return home from an unpopular war, were treated with great disrespect by friends, family, political groups, and even veterans of previous wars. He then noted that this group of Vietnam Veterans were determined to see that no solider would be treated poorly upon their return by another group of veterans in their lifetime. He then carefully placed the medal over the head of the lieutenant colonel who was present to assist Congresswoman Miller in handing out the recognition awards.

Please scroll through the photos and read the captions. Thank you for reading.

All images courtesy of Darla Welton.

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